#not that i care. i wasnt meant for this world
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genuinely. thank you so much to everyone who wished me happy birthday <3 it means more to me than i could ever properly put into words. yall made me teary more than once today 🥹
#im trying not to get too emotional about this bc its sillyyyyyyy but#i am emotional. i can simply not change the fact ive felt deeply touched by how many people said something#nyxtalks#i struggle so much with connection. and this. this meant a lot#it def wasnt the worst day in the world. but i spent it alone. and to know my friends in my phone cared was a little joy i think i needed#(special thanks to S & I (you know who you are) for your wishes earlier in the day in specific. i think ill remember that forever)
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tried putting on my radiator for the first time this winter (we've had snow this week.... its focking cold) but it trips the fusebox for the entire flat lmfao. I'm fuuuucked 😐
#all the other radiators work fine its just mine :'(((#and bc its thw weekend they wont come out to fix it until monday at least so thats great#its fine i havent needed it on this week so far and i have layers and a hot water bottle so ill be fine but i did cry abt it a bit#but not so much abt the radiator just a lot on my mind.. i couldnt pick up my prescription after work either bc the secretary left half an#hour early and the very kind nurse who had a look for it anyway couldnt find it and i cant get there any earlier next week bc of work#i know itll be fine ive already sent an email to ask if they can send it to my local pharmacy instead ill get my meds before they run out#but still i cried a bit walking home from the clinic 😢 just been a long week even if not a bad one. and i miss my friend whos moving#he'll be on the plane now.... man. its a bit selfish but im also sad abt it bc he always noticed how i was feeling when i was at the gym#like if i was privately dealing w some shit or just wasnt quite myself he could tell n would find a moment to gently ask or just be there#without probing abt it like man hes so reassuring and kind and has such a big heart. before he left he asked me to look out for some of#the quieter ones in our group and make sure they feel included and someones listening to them when he wont be around to anymore#😢💔💔💔💔 and i know i didnt know him long enough to become proper good friends with him but it meant a lot that he looked out for me#like all i really want in this world is to feel seen n safe esp when im having a hard time. and none of my closer friends really do that#and thats okay like its not their fault and they just express their way of caring differently but sometimes i feel so lonely ah....#and also my period is due and im kind of scared of how painful itll be bc the last few have been so bad snd i find loneliness a lot harder#when im in a lot of pain and anyway this is all probably just the pre period hormones making me so tearful so it doesnt matter#its ok made a big bowl of rice so im going to eat that wrapped up cosy in bed with a movie i think. and then sleep#.diaries
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Orion Pax is naive, he’s just not naive the way ppl seem to think he is
#its more like. lacking in experience outside of a certain setting#he’s naive because he hasnt interacted with a larger section of the world. with ppl who have all sorts of struggles and problems#but ppl sometimes write him as an uwu baby who will be taken advantage of if his few friends dont keep an eye on him#i personally prefer the idea that bc so much of his life has revolved around being an archivist and also being aware#that something is Very Wrong with his world#that he approaches everything with a sense of caution and care that other ppl dont take. he’s suspicious at the same time he’s gracious and#polite#actually i saw somebody say once that he’d be reserved bc of how he came to be at the archives#alpha trion plucking him out of the wilds and dropping him a secure enough middle class job#his fellows would be suspicious of him. he would be used to ppl being wary of him#and maybe that could be part of him getting along so well with megatron in those early days#orion isnt dangerous or weird to megatron. he’s just some nerd who’s good at arguing with him#i think orion would come out of his carefully crafted carefully neutral shell and become a lot more animated#he’s still a but clueless like that scene about wanting to go to an amusement park of all things#but he’s not a stupid uwu baby that big rough megatron is going to ravish at the first chance possible#hm that got longer than i meant#id make it a proper post but. im shy#anyway this is abt tfp orion if it wasnt evident#babble.tag
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been watching moonkitti vids and im like. i do appreciate her presence in the fandom if only bc she actually provides passages behind her own opinions and takes on the series, plus her being more nuanced than others, but on the other hand i feel like she gives the writers a bit too much credit
#like with her spottedleaf vid. i get it i get what shes getting at. and in a better world she’d have a point#but in what i covered in my tpb reread and what lex has told me. yeah ur definitely meant to see their contact as being romantic#and in a nice world him having an unreciprocated crush would be kinda neat but lbr the girls have zero agency. spotted has no agency#spottedleafs feelings dont matter. the narrative does not care about that. shes a lost lenore plot device#and thats depressing to say but its very likely that youre intended to see her feelings as romantic#if there was she’d probably have actually said something. like him getting w sandstorm was the perfect time to go#‘’oh your crush is just kinda silly you are a baby to me’’#and even if it is a retcon that doesnt excuse the pairing being creepy as hell#echoed voice#similarly she said ‘’crowfeathers trial canonized him being a bad dad even tho he wasnt in power of three’’ girl what#he. hit him…. breeze is outright said to be hated and outcast in windclan…… the protags say their relationship is bad#basically like. shes fine but i dont like how the fandom takes her word as gospel
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I love making aro characters as an aro person cause it's just self inflicted relief after spending so much time seeing the weak alloro aro hcs as the "nothing" option for a characters romantic orientation to just remember that aro characters can in fact be written to be complex and interesting characters and their aromanticism can be incredibly meaningful to their character and story even if it's not a point of conflict
#rat rambles#just me thinking abt my aro ocs and going oghhhhh ahgghdjdgkfjndjdh#idk I just like that reminder that being aro is a thing I can be proud of. and that I am proud of#also cause god Im so starved of well written aro characters I could name like One#and its riz and thats still pretty surface level stuff#dont get me wrong that made me super emotional and happy and it meant A Lot to me to actually see an aro character like that#but it makes me long for more at the same time. idk I just want more varied aro stories in the world and more aro stories in general#anyways shout out to my stinky aro incel man who I am too attached too for my own good tkfndjd#smth smth guys with abandonment issues who believe that romance is the only thing that ppl care abt and as such romantic relationships are#the only thing ppl want to keep you around for excetera excetera#so when his ex/bestie got a new boyfriend he immediately freaked out a bit abt being potentially abandoned#which wasnt helped by how fast the two moved and by them going missing soon after#and he has a lot of shit goiny on that I wont go ibto rn cause Im tired gjxjdndh#oc posting
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Ur just with the wrong people
do you guys ever feel like an outcast even in a group full of outcasts. like i'm autistic and even in groups full of neurodivergent people i'm still excluded sometimes. i don't understand why
#i work at a retro game store where the bulk of the employees; the owner included; are all neurodivergant#that workplace has been one of my favorite places in the world to be simce i started working there. i get along well with everyone because#each of them see me and know me for who i am and the work that i do; and while they have their faults i care for and accpet them as they are#and they do the same for me. the one “gripe” i sort of had with the newer staff we were hiring was that patience and care we had with#each other wasnt being readily extended to our lower functioning customers; arguably the ones who need that understanding the most#so i started doing double shifts with them and slowing introducing the idea of “making their experience a good one”#because a lot of our lower functioning customers have caretakers that come into the store with them; which means coming to our store is#not just something they're doing on a whim; it's a planned part of the day that for some of them is meant to be a highlight#so when i phrased it like that; and brought to their attention that this is kind of job that isnt for people who arent good with empathy#the good news is empathy is like creativity. it's a muscle that you can make stronger#point being; i had to make that chamge among my coworkers/friend group and for their own good; but for the good of people like us that'll#walk into the store. the magic about this is thise skills will benefit them outside of this job; the skill to be kind and gentle and#considerate with people you might not feel comfortable with is invaluable this day and age. if you're worried you cant?#dont. they thought the same thing and now we get 5 star reviews about the both of them. you can be the change you want to see in the people#around you. if youre just not getting that around yoj? find some new friends
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Alright boys pack it up no more rain world posting new oni dlc is coming out in less than a week
#rat rambles#oni posting#rain posting#I jest I will probably still be posing some rain world stuff if I get around to designing more guys#but I can already feel the oni brain coming back and am half tempted to do one last comb through the files even tho I know itll be#pointless because the full dlc will be at my fingertips very soon#to be clear I 100% will be combing through the data of the full release too but thats a given#calvin my boy pls make it in pls don't get scrapped pls my boy#oh now that we're getting close Im gonna let myself talk abt this just this once but if you care abt potential spoilers stop reading#anyways so last I checked where the duplicant descriptions and stuff is stored there was an additional new duplicant named calvin#now I wasnt able to find anything else referencing him from my admittedly not super deep digging but he was there#I did thoroughly look through the spritesheets tho and hes definitely not there from what I could yell#or at least he wasnt when I checked idk maybe they put him in during one of the patches for some reason#but yeah I hope he makes it in despite all the specific advertising of them adding one new duplicant#its actually these descriptors that have been making me not wanna talk abt calvin dupe too openly as if he does make it in its probably#going to be a pretty big spoiler for a bit?#ofc if he is a secret of sorts then he wont be for long but if he is meant to be a surprise I don't wanna scream on the rooftop abt it#but I do wanna have proof that I found him before hand it he is a surprise I need to feel cool and special for looking at one file <3#yknow what I think I actually am going to pop open oni and tripple check that I'm not missing anything#I was playing rw a lot to cope with the dlc not being fully out but at this point Ive finished every campaign except saints#and saints is being a buggy bastard for me rn and keeps repeatedly softlocking me so Im giving up on it for now#like just this morning I did the entirety of the hunter campaign in like 2 hours I have so little left to do#if I do decide to replay a campaign tho it's probably going to be either gourmands or spearmasters since theyre my favorites to play as#idc what anyone says Ill always preffer the spearmasters story to rivulets I adore them both but ppl do not appreciate spearmaster enough#like every person Ive seen play it sees the ending as disappointing and I wont stand for it its high-key my favorite ending#now thats entirely because Im a moon enjoyer and a tragedy enjoyer but still I will always lose my mind over moon's final message
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never in my life have i heard such a tragic and hopeful and beautiful song..... what if we were both addicts and desperately in love with each other but we could only manage to be the worst versions of ourselves to each other... and what if we understood each other profoundly because of this and yet we couldnt have any real closeness because our relationship would only ever be tumultuous. what if i hold a million versions of you in my head and you were bad to me but you were all i had and it wasnt even anything i could name. what if sometimes i cared about you desperately and you did sometimes and other times you were just fucking mean. and what if ill miss you forever. what then
#sorry i just... literally what if i thought you were the most beautiful thing in the world#and you were the closest thing i had but we were both so sick sometimes it was like you didnt even fucking want me around#but sometimes we clung to each other like lifeboats..... and i would hold these through the bad parts but sometimes i just couldnt#understand how you could do both....... what if i want to get better and im fighting you to bring you with me and you just cant do it and#ill never reconcile what we were or what we shared because addiction made us so unstable it was impossible to tell what was the core of the#way we cared about each other....#what if this all meant so much to me and i cant even tell what any of it meant to you.#what if you were worse than me and we couldve had something normal maybe but you were terrible to me and i dont know where the sickness ends#and you begin. and what if i forgave you a million times for this because i loved you and it still wasnt enough. what then#sorry. i know im repeating myself but FUCK#songs#my post#Spotify
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──★ ˙🍓 ̟ !! what is this? boyfriend material.
☆⌒(ゝ。∂).ᐟ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴀʀᴇ ʙʟʟᴋ ʙᴏʏs ʟɪᴋᴇ ɪɴ ᴀ ʀᴇʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴsʜɪᴘ ᴘᴛ. 𝟷
✿ ─ characters: isagi yoichi, chigiri hyoma, reo mikage, nagi seishiro ✿ ─ cw: fluff, gn!reader, no pronouns but there are a few 'fem coded' things referenced like make up or skirts, aged-up!characters, established relationships, pet names, kissing, groping, pda, use of foul language, suggestive themes, proofread so many times so if there’s a typo ill cry ✿ ─ notes: this is my first post ♪(´▽`) i haven't written stuff like this in a pretty long time so bear with me ‹𝟹 this is some hybrid of headcanon and drabble idk
ISAGI YOICHI is a full-fledged bonafide simp...
he suffers from tragic a condition. when he’s not trying? flirting supreme panty dropper. however, when he tries to flirt with someone he likes? bro is fumbling. at first he seems like such an instant charmer. hes a classic gentleman, great listener, and super attractive. but the second he gets an inkling of a crush, he ruins it for himself. stuttering and getting his words mixed up, saying the most embarrassing jumbled combination of what he actually meant to.
follows you around to all your tasks because how else would he spend his free time except hanging with his baby. to sephora, to the grocery store, to the salon, the the ends of the earth if that's where you're heading that day. more than happy to hold onto your hand as you go about your business, rambling about global soccer statistics and looking at you like you hold the world. yoichi is a prideful purse holder too, his arms and pockets and car being full of your belongings makes him insanely happy for some reason he can’t put his finger on. always ready to press the lip gloss you’re patting yourself down for into the palm your hand, taking a kiss as payment.
he’s bad at planning dates, so don’t put him in charge unless you want to be late to a reservation at a restaurant 2 hours away with mediocre food. he’s good at paying for them though!! the dates he does get to plan are usually to the mall. what can i say, man likes to spoil you.
at the mall isagi can kind of trick you. because typically if he were to offer to buy you a couple hundred dollars worth of things, you would absolutely refuse. buttt if its just one thing from this store and one thing from another, and maybe its the fact that you dont feel the weight of all the items as your boyfriend carries it all, but it flies under your radar. and at some point you look at yoichi… and he has a lot of shopping bags. surely some of those were his right? the little pleased love sick smile on his face says otherwise.
its so worth it to isagi tho. he gets to spend time with you, make you happy, be a doting bf. but it also means that he can pick out clothes for you. as generous as he was, he could be a bit of a greedy gifter - never leaving the mall without a new skirt of his choosing. will personally pick out a pile of things he wants you to try on just for him.
once youre with isagi for a few months, he reveals his true colors. man is a serial PDA offender. he just thinks you’re so pretty, and it gives him such an ego boost to be the guy by your side. better hold his hand or its going in your back pocket. leans in under the guise of giving you a quick, generally acceptable peck on the lips… but all of a sudden he wants another before you even fully pull away from the first and its all downhill from there. sits on your side of the table at restaurants instead of across from you so he can rest his hand on your thigh and sneak in small squeezes when he thinks youre not paying attention. and be careful about walking in front of him, he’s not strong enough to resist the urge to smack your ass.
if the PDA thing wasnt a dead give away, isagi is just very affectionate in general, honestly has a hard time leaving you alone when you’re in the same room as him. he just gravitates towards you no matter what he was previously doing. very easily distracted, very easy to bribe. he’s the type of guy where when he goes to get out of bed in the morning to go to practice, and you cling to him and ask him for just 5 more minutes, theres nothing that could stop him from sinking right back into your arms. his attendance record has definitely suffered because he is unable to deny you a single thing you ask for, especially if that thing is him.
CHIGIRI HYOMA is taken and makes sure everyone knows it…
hyoma’s partner very quickly becomes his best friend if they weren’t before they started dating. it’s not even intentional, but he gets very quickly attached to you. sure, he has a decent amount of friends, but none of them know him like you do. he loves to hear you talk about your life, invested in your daily drama and indulging you with all of his. he likes to hear your input and insights on situations. he takes notes in his phone when he sees things he thinks you would like, or conversations he had that he wants to tell you about. forever surprised by how much he misses you when you’re apart, chigiri is used to not needing anyone the way he needs you. is so much grumpier at matches that have him go abroad without you, texting you often throughout the day, whenever he can get his hands on his phone.
because you’re now his best friend and partner, chigiri’s a bit tied to you at the hip, but he would never admit to being clingy. not that you mind, hanging out with him is fun and surprisingly intimate. he never fails to hold your hand wherever you go or throw an arm around your shoulder. on dates he’ll lean in close to your ear to whisper little observations and jokes about the people around, the two of you sharing witty comments and secretive snickers behind your hands. when hanging out with mutual friends, the way yours eyes meet his wordlessly, both holding the same micro expression, indistinguishable to other people, that says “we are so talking about that later”.
speaking of clinging to your side, hyoma can have a bit of a possessive streak at times. i feel like it’s something you don’t really expect of him until there’s a guy flirting with you in a store. the way your boyfriend is at your side before you can even answer, standing at his full height, squaring his shoulders with a sour look on his face, not at all shy about the way his arm snakes around your waist. “they’re not interested.” he states plainly, as if it were obvious, but if you payed close attention to him (which you always did), you would notice the distasteful curl of his lip or the venom seeping into his tone or the way his usually gentle fingers hold onto your side with a firm grip.
he doesn’t meet your eyes after, already sensing the knowing smirk on your lips. his ears turn red when you break the silence to tell him that green was a good color on him. but, your ever clever boyfriend is quick to reply, “that’s cute baby, but i’m not jealous. you haven’t seen me when i’m jealous.” the mischievous glimmer in his eye and the smug smile he wears reminds you to not test him.
king of matching outfits with you. not in the novelty shirts cheesy way, but he always asks for a fit check before he picks you up on dates. chigiri is outside your apartment within the hour, wearing a jacket that matches the color of your shoes and a sly grin. generally starts to shift his style to be a bit more cohesive with yours, he loves going out and looking like you belong together.
not to mention, matching outfits give him more excuses to take pictures with you. photos of you and him are plastered all over his instagram, your handle in his bio and everything. he’s no amateur either, always able to catch your best side, in perfect lighting. really makes you feel as pretty as he seems to think you are. hyoma is a bit of a show off too, so he gets a bit of an ego boost getting to let everyone know how cute you are, and that you’re all his.
hyoma greatly values the alone time he gets to spend with you. the best part of his week is sitting on the couch as you help him with his hair care routine. you running a mix of the comb and your fingers through his hair as the two of you catch up on the k-drama you started together. your touch and your attention and your warm presence enough to make the stress of a pro soccer career melt off his shoulders. makes you teach him how to do your nails and learns your skin care routine so that he can return the favor, although he’s much better at the latter.
MIKAGE REO is ungodly whipped and more than a little dramatic…
if we’re talking about social media boyfriends, reo is near insufferable. let’s be real, reo was already flexing on the gram before you got with him. constantly posting pictures of his car and expensive watches and exclusive clubs. he just becomes worse when you agree to go out with him. his story is full of aesthetically blurry shots of you, sometimes featuring him, anywhere and everywhere. in his car, on dates, cooking in his kitchen. he even found the audacity to post a picture of you in his bed, your bare back in full frame, the sheets pooled around your waist. “i’m so lucky” was the caption and the only context provided. unsurprisingly the lifespan of that post was quite short once you caught wind of it, with the assurance that he wouldn’t be getting so lucky in the near future.
i totally think reo is the type of guy that tries to act like a fuckboy but is secretly a hopeless romantic. in other words, reo is a huge sap™. has a picture of you in his wallet. you’re his screen saver and all his passwords feature your name. nagi is the last person left that will still listen to reo ramble on about you, all of his other friends having gotten tired of it.
we already know that reo is taking you to fancy dinners on the regular, but more unexpectedly i think he is a big fan of outdoorsy dates. previously mentioned hopeless romantic tendencies means reo loves a picnic way more than he lets on. his favorite is when the summer comes around and he gets to take you to the beach. if reo dies and goes to heaven and it's not you rubbing sunscreen into his warm back in a skimpy swimsuit he picked out for you himself, he's not interested. a close second favorite of his is late night drives with you. all the windows of his luxury sports car down, blasting a playlist the two of you made together, singing loud and ugly down the empty freeway. in these moments you make him feel weightless and he swears it’s addicting.
king of clingy. every time that you feel your phone vibrate, there's a good chance that it's your boyfriend. never with anything important either, asking where you are, how was your day, sending you pics of whatever he is doing, even resorting to imessage games when he runs out of things to talk about. he just always finds himself itching to open your contact. if mikage reo could eat up all of your attention, he would not hesitate to do so.
reo is usually the caretaker. when he obtained status of boyfriend, you automatically went on his list of special people in his life, only really consisting of you and nagi, and this granted you the exclusive privilege of walking all over him if you so please. truly a pushover and weak to your pouts. while we’re on the subject of ways to get him to fold, reo is surprisingly easy to flatter. your compliments are honey to his ears, no matter how many people have said the same to him before. his heart thumps loud in his chest whenever you do any act of service or labor of love for him. just wait for the day you buy this man some flowers. got his hand splayed over his red face, his palm not wide enough to cover his infatuated grin. "they're really for me, babe? god i knew i picked you for a reason.”
reo's feelings for you run extremely deep. scary deep. you make him feel stupid and irrational. he can't think straight, he's impulsive. you have to keep a close eye on him because give reo enough time alone and he'll convince himself that getting your name tattooed across his chest is an amazing idea, a grandiose display of his affection and devotion to you - sick as hell too. god forbid you go on a trip by yourself, there's honestly a decent chance you'll come home to a marriage proposal and explanations on how "no no, don't worry babe, i know its sooner than you expected but i've got it all planned out.” just be glad that up until this point he has resisted the strong urge to drop a fourth of his trust fund on a ring, a price he's more than willing to pay to make you all his.
NAGI SEISHIRO is greedy and will readily take a mile if given an inch…
nagi is… new to the whole boyfriend thing to say the least. not to say he’s bad at it or anything, but i imagine that in the beginning of your relationship, things are a bit, for a lack of better words, lukewarm. he struggles a bit with recognizing that the switch from friends to more than friends is more than just the title, letting you completely take the wheel. but his passiveness doesn’t last long. not when he can’t escape the way you are constantly on his mind. he thought it was overwhelming enough having a crush on you, but now that he’s falling for you it’s on another level. he thinks of you when he first opens his eyes, facing the obnoxious blue light of his phone to send you your daily goodmorning :x . he thinks of you at night, when he’s restlessly fighting to fall asleep before he ultimately caves and facetimes you so that he can drift off to your tired mumbles and even breaths. he thinks of you when practice drags on, the anticipation of seeing you after the only thing keeping him from giving into his exhaustion.
nagi can’t get you out of his head for the life of him, but to be fair he doesn’t put up much of a fight. seishiro is used to getting what he wants, so what does he do when his desire for you becomes a hassle? he makes it your problem. constantly calling you and asking you to pick him up from social functions because he misses you. insisting that he stays the night at your place or that you come to his because he needs his daily dose of you. and he doesn’t have the shame to be shy of telling you everything on his mind either. he unintentionally says very flustering things, unabashedly demanding your touch and your company, no matter who is listening. it’s your fault he’s like this after all, you might as well take responsibility and give him what he wants.
and what he wants is affection from you, as much as he can get. serishiro is mesmerized by your reactions. being in love with you is uncharted territory that he maps out with piqued curiosity and newfound greed. especially kissing. once nagi gets his first taste of kissing you for real, messy and needy and drawn out, he never wants to go back. not after seeing your red face, eyes lidded and lips parted so cutely he just has to steal one more. now his day dreams revolve around you, what flavor of chapstick you’re wearing, what perfume do you have on, are you thinking of him as much as he does you? thats one thing he never really finds the courage to ask, but that he secretly hopes is true.
he loves to find things you can work on together, even if you always end up being the one putting in more effort. nagi will insist on cooking dinner together, and maybe you get his help for a good 10 minutes before he’s slumped in a seat at the counter eating the ingredients. buys tons of lego sets for the two of you to put together and while you’re following the instructions, he’s stealing pieces you need so he can build a little car to push around the table while he watches you figure it out. he’ll even settle for a puzzle and a movie, but your out of luck if you expect him to do anything but the edges.
the lazy genius only really has the time and energy to have a couple of important people in his life, but once you make it into that inner circle, that shit is permanent as far as he’s concerned. it begins with him telling you that it only makes sense to leave some clothes at his apartment, you’re at his place half the week anyway. and then its him smuggling over your favorite pillows and stuffed animals to his bed instead of yours. then he’s asking you to go grocery shopping with him every week. the jokes he makes about the fact that, “you keep all your stuff here anyway. just move in with me already,” are far too frequent to be subtle. but when he hits you with the puppy eyes, which are annoyingly effective, how could you say no?
you’ve put yourself in his orbit after all and now the solar system that is nagi seishiro will use his gravity to pull you inevitably closer. it’s doomed.
is my bias obvious?? cuz i feel like it might be… lmk which one was your favorite!!
© 2023 hyomaslut. please do not copy, translate, or repost any of my content onto any other sites.
#bllk x reader#blue lock x reader#isagi yoichi x reader#chigiri x reader#blue lock fluff#blue lock headcanons#isagi x reader#chigiri hyoma x reader#mikage reo x reader#nagi x reader#nagi seishiro x reader#reo x reader#blue lock x you#blue lock x y/n#gn reader#bllk#blue lock imagine#blue lock drabbles#reblog divider credit @cafekitsune#miwa writes
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I may be wrong but anon comes across as young-ish bc I think there's just a period of your young life where everything (especially when you grow up on the internet) feels just so big and important, no matter what it is.
And with how loud people are on the internet sometimes it feels like something is WAAY more important than it ACTUALLY is. Especially in fandom spaces.
What I'm trying to say is that although you may feel like this is a huge issue right now, at the end of the day if you step away from it you'll see it's just a cartoon and some people on the internet, anon. You're not making the world worse by watching it. You're not evil. You're not a bad person. I promise most people do not care what you watch, it's just that a small minority are REALLY loud.
This is not me saying that nothing on the internet matters, mind you. It very much does, especially when it comes to privacy and/or exposing people for really harmful things. It's just that things often get inflated in how bad they are. People have this tendency of having no nuance and suddenly you're a bad person for enjoying a show which is no different than commiting a real life crime in those people's eyes. But only one is an actual crime, you know
So, yeah, sometimes things feel a lot bigger than they are and a lot worse, but I promise they're not. Just enjoy whatever you want to enjoy
Hey, I'm really sorry for asking this, but do you and how do you deal with any guilt for liking Hazbin Hotel? I think the controversies and antis have got to me because I can't watch it or any content without thinking about those.
I love the songs (both the show's and PARANOID DJ's because they're bangers) but I also can't help but think "am I a terrible person with bad taste for liking this?"
Parts of this show also just make me happy, especially Angel Dust. He became such a comfort to me after I went through a similar situation. Not as extreme, but it messed me up. And Alastor is just the best character to ever be created. He sings and dances and kills and eats people, what more could you want in a man? But yeah, I just want to enjoy the silly demon show without feeling gross afterward and I don't know how to shake that feeling off.
First of all, I don't have any guilt watching anything I enjoy.
Second of all, neither should you. And this is the problem with antis and "critics". No one should EVER be made to feel bad about liking anything. Hell, I'll even extend that thought to those who like Velma. I'll never understand it, but I can't hate you for liking something.
I know Vivzie is tied to a lot of controversies, but so what? More than half of them have been debunked or shown to have changed as she grew older. Even if you still feel iffy, Hazbin is more than just Vivzie. There's an entire crew attached to this show and they should not suffer bc of one person.
I mean, you've most likely played a game or watched a movie that has had a problematic person connected to it. Yeah, that person is scummy, but you can still enjoy the content that has them featured or they created bc...that doesn't define you as a person. What you like in fiction does not translate to real life.
It's different when it comes to someone like Onision, who's content is nothing but his life and about him. I'd be more disgusted if you liked him vs you liking Hopper from A Bug's life, despite him being played by Kevin Spacey. Awful person, but Hopper is disconnected from Spacey other than voice. Or liking a song by a problematic artist. You like the song, not the person.
Once again, YOU SHOULD NOT FEEL GUILTY FOR ENJOYING SOMETHING! NO ONE SHOULD EVER FEEL GUILTY FOR ENJOYING MEDIA THAT'S MEANT TO BE ENJOYED! VIVZIE MADE THE SHOW BUT SHE IS NOT THE SHOW!
Anyone who dares to feel self-righteous over a cartoon needs to get that tree branch out of their ass.
#i hope this doesn't come across as condescending bc I genuinely have a lot of sympathy for anon#especially if they are young as I suspect they might be#I think most of us had that phase where you freaked out bc you said a bad word on the internet#or you made a weird drawing/fanfic that found its way into your group of friends when it wasnt meant to#or you enjoy a show that's been 'cancelled' in the eyes of the twitter people#and suddenly it feels like thats such an important issue and you are the worst person and this will follow you forever#and ruin your reputation#and we just lost sight of what's genuinely ok vs. not bc everything feels so important and big and oh my God Im a bad person#and like#step away from the computer from a moment and realize none of it is an actual issue#no one actually cares if you liked weird fanart on twitter or if you wrote some 'cringy' oc x canon fanfic#i PROMISE theres much more worse and pressing issues in the world and dont let some loud mouths take away your joy#block people if you need. dont search a tag that upsets you. just step away from it and i promise it suddenly will become a lot smaller#youre allowed to just enjoy things and i hope youre ok <3#ps : obv this doesnt apply to people using the internet to commit crimes/groom minors/produce criminal content#bc those things actually MATTER#so dont let the internet dilute your perception of smth actually bad vs. smth thats just 'cringy'#and be happy with what you enjoy#best of luck to you anon. youre ok. virtual hugs and all that <3#hazbin hotel
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The Dark Urge thoughts (and prayers)
anyone whos been following me knows im absolutely not normal about durge and i wanna share some tidbits that are implied, but not necessarily canonised, from their story;
I already made a post about it but it seems like bhaal has a degree of control over whether they live or die. he can deny them death, if they fail the duel with orin.
bhaal can command the slayer. he forces orin to transform if you talk to her about sarevok and the scene makes it clear that its against her will.
bhaal manipulates his kin in a subtler way. in the colony you can find a letter from old durge thats apologising to his father for 'liking' gortash. you can interpret their relationship as something deeper but even if it wasnt, this reads to me as terrified and desperate.
the reason being, if you have a LI in act 2 you get the famous bondage scene. coupled up with the letter above makes me think this is a pattern. bhaal can use their feelings against them. he did it with sarevok and orin's mother, orin's mother and orin, etc... it's not as straightforward as 'if you disobey ill kill the one you love'. you will. durge will.
bhaal is testing them in act 2, he revels in chaos, sure, but in the grand scheme of things he doesn't care about isobel. even if you tell scel that you'll kill her you're told that youre too late, you ignored your urges. from durge, bhaal doesn't expect calm calculated murder, he expects blind obedience. failing to receive that his first punishment is to take away something they cherish. there are no half measures, theres no bargaining with a god.
we get so many snippets of information that this has happened before, their foster family being their first victims. theyre made to kill their support system with their own hands, with no one to blame but themselves. they are actually apologising to their father for being fond of gortash because (in my humble opinion) theyre genuinely afraid.
how many times could this have happened, how many nights durge couldve woken up covered in the blood of someone they love until they gave in, became daddys obedient puppet?
durge is groomed for murder. scel says 'you always failed to conduct yourself without me' and given who he is i dont think hes talking about table manners when he says 'conduct'. durge needs 24/7 oversight to set themselves right lest they get tempted by softer things. lest they dare to step away from bhaals grand plan.
durge do have a choice. just as shadowheart had a choice, just as wyll or astarion had a choice. its a choice only in name.
theres no ending besides refusing bhaal that their friends and LI wont die by their hands. the entire lore of bhaalspawn is that theyre meant to conquer the world in his name and slit their own throat a top the mountain of corpses. as cazador aptly put, 'theyre made to be consumed.'
you can pray to bhaal and the narrator says he won't accept [any offering] but the entire world.
durge (and bhaalspawn) do get some sort of euphoria from murder. they crave it like an addict, but bhaalspawn (on prev games) don't constantly have to grapple with these urges as durge does.
now durge is a slightly special case but not in a good way. its implied that theyre not like a regular bhaalspawn, that theyre made by bhaal directly -so to speak-. which is to say, if youre playing a drow, they are bhaals closest approximation of a drow rather than a drow flesh and blood.
thats why theyre fighting tooth and nail against these urges every step of the way, they are literally bhaal himself(in essence). the personality they develop, the person who calls themselves 'tainted' and 'wretched', the character thats making choices throughout the game, theyre the tumour.
theirs is the story of cycle of abuse cranked up to 1000 and it is in parallel to all other origin companions.
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pictures and pizza📸 🌃 🌹
personal assistant reader x boss schlatt
schlatt forgets something important. again. how will he make it up to you?
working for schlatt was easy
getting every thing done meant you guys could kinda just hang out
you two were getting along great, you were basically friends, except you cooked for him, cleaned, and kept his schedule moving
and you were beginning to love it
but not everything can be perfect
there was one thing about schlatt that was very hard to deal with
schlatt is really fucking stubborn and no diss, a bit lazy
like omfg it was getting old
if he didnt want to do something, or better yet, didnt want to get out of bed!
there was no use, you had no chance of convincing him
but that is your job, and you were damn good at it
it was 10am, as that was the set time you and schlatt decided work began. he had gifted you a key to his apartment after one morning, where you had to call his little sister to let you in, you thought schlatt was dead.
he just fell asleep with headphones on.
anywho, you let yourself in and tidyed up the living room, because the night before schlatt promised you he would be up and ready at 10, he had an extremely important meeting at 11 that was kinda far.
like he could not miss this.
so you trusted him, you also hated barging into his room, it felt like a total invasion of privacy to you, schlatt didnt care when you did it, but to you it was the end of the world
so you waited.
and waited
until you knew he would not make it on time if he wasnt up.
so you mustered up all your courage and knocked on his door.
... silence
by then you gave up and opened the door, and oh lord if you werent mad at him it wouldve been the cutest thing youve ever seen
he was spread across his bed, limbs and blankets everywhere, and jambo and garlic bread (i am not writing REACTED every time.) were cuddled up on top of him. jambo curled up in his left arm, and garlic bread sprawled across his right leg
for a moment you forgot you were mad at him, he looked so handsome, yet so adorable, his mouth was open, and he was snoring softly, and honestly drooling a bit
you pulled out your phone and took a picture, wanting to make it your lockscreen but too scared he would see it. you hearted the picture in your camera roll before opening youtube
you connected your phone to his speaker in the room, and searched "morning bugle call" and hit play on full volume
jambo and garlic bread went flying off of schlatt as he sat up and slapped his hands over his ears "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT" you were wheezing on the floor at that point
when you finally stopped laughing you locked in and turned of the sound, then frowned slightly at him "up and at it, we were supposed to leave 30 minutes ago, you have 5 minutes to get ready. your outfit is picked and hung in the closet, lets go." and you shut his door and sat waiting on the couch
he was out in 4 minutes and 26 seconds. you handed him the breakfast you got him and made your way out the door silently.
"toots, im so sorry, i know i said i would wake up, i swear i set an alarm, c'mon dont be mad at me doll. i promise it wont happen again." he followed hot on your tail, almost chasing you.
like if someone saw they might be worried your about to be abducted.
you sighed and got in the drivers seat of your car, you wanted him to eat so you decided he could be the passenger princess for once
"schlatt this is the third time this week, im not mad, like this is literally my job, but it throws the whole day off, its whatever, eat your breakfast so you dont pass out at the meeting." the meeting was in new jersey and you didnt want to hear schlatts bitching the whole way
you turned up the music and hoped he would be quiet
schlatt on the other hand was rethinking his entire being
how could he let you down again, all he wants is for you to love and want your job, and hes already jepordizing that. for the span of the 30 minute car ride he hatched a plan.
after his four hour meeting he was drained, he waited to see your car pull up and get him, but you were taking an abnormally long time, he was getting worried
but those fears subsided quickly when he recived a text from you
"im gonna kms johnny. why the fuck did you have to have a meeting in new fucking jersey. traffic is insane, be there in 30 minutes pls dont die to a homeless man."
that certainly made him feel better, he searched for a near by store or cafe, but when he found a flower shop he knew that it was redemption time
you on the other hand wanted to throw yourself off of a freeway.
the traffic leaving the city to new jersey was insane, why on a thursday at 430 was traffic slower than joe biden falling off a bike? dont have the answer to that one
but this drive gave you time to think, it wasnt schlatts fault he had trouble waking up, and when traffic got so bad you could literally park, you went on amazon and bought him an alarm clock
one that will for sure wake him up, problem solved. now you could relax. night changes played on aux (rip liam 🥲) and you could think about the man you were ten minutes away from picking up
you opened your phone to see the picture from this morning, you decided so what if he sees, this picture ment the world to you, even though schlatt had been in your life for nearing a month, you knew he'd somehow be apart of it forever
schlatt stood outside of a coffee shop you told him to wait at, holding stuff that could possibly help fix his mistake.
when your car pulled up he started to get nervous, what if he got the wrong flowers, or they didnt make your coffee right, but those doubts melted away when your car came to a hault
you watched him open his door and hand you a large bouquet of flowers and a cold brew. overwhelmed at first you didnt realise what you were holding. you placed the cup into your cup holder and looked at the flowers infront of you
it was made up of roses, lilys, sweetpeas, carnations, alstroemerias, daphnes at the bottom you think?, ruscus, dusty millers, and eucalyptus.
you didnt even know this many pretty flowers existed, after placing the boquet on your lap, you reached over and threw your arms around schlatt
"johnny what is this!" you exclaim, voice muffled my his neck, suprised he wraps his arms around your waist and holds you close
"thought you deserved a gift after i fucked up this morning" he sighs, whichmakes you pull away, but you place a hand on his cheek, slightly scratching his beard with your nails
"oh jay, i wasnt even really mad, this is the nicest thing anyones every done for me" you look at him in awe as he leans into your touch.
"yeah but i feel bad, m' gonna make it up to you, tonight your comin' over, were gonna watch 10 things i hate about you, play mario kart, and order pizza, dont ever let me break your trust again, sound good toots?" his smirk cut right through your heart
oh he looked so kissable right now
that night was spent cuddled up on his couch, playing wii games, forcing schlatt to watch rom coms, and stuffing your faces with pizza
he made you feel like you were in a rom com
that was only just beginning
#jschlatt#schlatt#john#youtube#jschlatt x reader#jschaltt#jschatt#jschlatt imagine#schlatty#schlatt imagine#schlatt x reader#pizza#newyork#chuckle sandwich#assistantxboss#schlattslonghairytoes#god i need him so bad#romcom#flowers
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Swear it again
(bsn ending #6)
Bang chan x reader !! Christopher Bang x reader !! word count: 2.8k
bsn alternative ending #4 wherein; chan.. is what your heart wants
an: any team chan here? coz babe! i wasnt in any team but i can say that.. i love chan here!! (and seungmin */sobs)
part 1 and part 2 first
Bang Chan was the most mature person in your circle.
He was the one who would scold everyone for their wrongdoings, always making sure they understood the consequences of their actions..
He gave advice like a big brother, offering guidance that was both thoughtful and practical, always with your best interests at heart..
He provided help whenever he could, going out of his way to make sure no one felt left behind, even when it meant sacrificing his own time or energy..
And he protected your friendship in the best way he could, often stepping in to mediate conflicts, always striving to keep the group united and strong.
He wrote songs, pouring his heart and soul into every lyric and melody, creating music that resonated with everyone who listened..
He wanted to become a singer ever since he was a kid, because he loved making people happy..
He sang well..
He produced beats..
He got his driver's license at an early age..
He was gentle, his kindness evident in the way he treated everyone around him, always with a smile and a reassuring word..
He was a good cook..
He liked sunny days more than rainy ones..
His hobby was playing sports..
He thought his charming point was his dimples when he smiled, a feature that made everyone around him smile too, his happiness infectious..
He could rotate his hand 360 degrees, a quirky talent that never failed to amuse you, just another thing that made him unique..
He was handsome..
And cute at the same time.
—Wait. Were we still talking about how mature he is?
Well, no! You were talking about how much you knew him.
And why did you know him that much? Because, yes indeed, you liked him.
But—
"I swear to God! I would never fall in love with someone like Chan!" It was just a teasing moment as you lifted your right hand, as if pledging an oath.
You were playing truth or dare with your friends one time. And then you picked truth, and they teased you, asking if you liked Chan—where you immediately denied it by swearing.
And you thought you would never.
But then there was him, always taking care of you, asking How are you after your major exams.
Asking what your cravings were for the day so he could buy them for you.
Asking what you were eating in your apartment. If are you just eating cup noodles again.
Patting your back and giving you a hug when you cried after failing your physics subject, holding you close as you let the tears fall.
The first one to greet you on your birthday, warm and cheerful as he wished you all the happiness in the world.
You felt like… you didn’t understand.
Yes, others cared about you, but Chan… there was something about him you couldn’t quite pinpoint.
And when the way he slowly placed a pair of headphones on you and then played a song he had written and composed by himself, his eyes watching your reaction…
You finally admitted it to yourself—yes… you liked him.
"I swear to God…" Now, you couldn’t continue your words as the others looked at you, waiting for your answer.
"I'm tired of playing. Let's sleep." Then you stood up, leaving them with confused faces.
Well, don’t overthink it. They were just wondering if you really knew how to play truth or dare.
When he wrote that blue sticky note song… you thought he was the one who sneakily slipped it into your binder.
"We helped in making that song," he said as you faced him, "but Changbin wrote the title and most of the lyrics."
That answered your question—it was Changbin who really did put it there.
Not gonna lie, you really hoped it was him. But knowing that another friend did it, you felt anxious. If you were to tell everyone you liked this man standing in front of you… what would their reaction be?
After that night at the party, when you got home and cried, you knew now that Bang Chan liked you. But you didn’t know what to do.
It was because of your stupid swear to yourself!
Why did you pledge something when you couldn’t even handle the consequences?
You continued your life after that, but things felt different. You started putting up barriers between yourself and your friends, especially Seungmin and Changbin, who you always saw in class.
Thankfully, they seemed to understand, giving you the space you thought you needed.
But deep down, you hoped that everything would go back to normal. In just a few days, you already missed the closeness, the easy laughter, the sense of belonging that came with your friendship. And so, you made a promise to yourself that you would fix this—no matter how difficult it might be.
You were about to take a different path home when you spotted Seungmin walking in your direction. He caught your eye, and for a moment, you considered slipping away before he could reach you. But before you could decide, he stopped you.
"Wait. Let's talk."
Even though you weren't ready to face him, there was a pull, a longing to reconnect. You missed Seungmin—your best friend, the one who always understood you without needing many words.
As you both sat down, sipping on your favorite coffee, an awkward silence hung between you, thick with unsaid words.
"I know this is hard for you," Seungmin began, his voice gentle and steady, as if he had rehearsed what to say a hundred times before. "But I hope you won't go through with your plan of distancing yourself from us. We don’t want to lose you."
You bit your lip, feeling the weight of his words sink in. That wasn’t what you wanted either. They were all precious to you. You were just trying to give yourself some space, to sort out your feelings before they got even more complicated. "It’s not that I want to leave…" you mumbled, struggling to find the right words. "I just… I don’t know how to handle all of this right now."
Seungmin nodded, his eyes never leaving yours. "But we’ll give you the time you need," he said softly, taking a small step closer, as if he wanted to bridge the gap that had formed between you. "Just know that we're here for you. We're friends, and we should be with each other, especially when things get tough."
It was as if he could read your mind—he knew exactly what you were thinking, even though you hadn’t said a word. The unspoken understanding between you was comforting, but it also made you feel guilty for even considering pulling away.
"I’m sorry," you finally spoke, your voice trembling with emotion. You weren’t entirely sure why you were apologizing, but you felt it deep in your heart. Maybe it was because you were about to break his heart, to put a crack in the foundation of your friendship. "I… I just…"
You wanted to tell him everything, but the words were stuck, lodged in your throat, as if admitting them out loud would make everything too real to bear.
Seungmin looked at you, his expression softening with concern. "Hey," he said gently, reaching out to place a reassuring hand on your shoulder. "It’s okay. You don’t have to say it all at once."
You swallowed hard, trying to steady your breathing. "I just don’t want to hurt anyone," you whispered, your voice barely audible.
"You like someone, but you're afraid to choose because you don’t want to hurt the others, right?" Seungmin’s words hit the mark, once again proving how well he knew you.
You didn’t nod, but you didn’t deny it either. Instead, you lowered your head, unable to meet his gaze. How did he always know what you were thinking? How did he always manage to say exactly what you needed to hear?
"Don’t be sorry, you silly," Seungmin chuckled, trying to lighten the mood. His laughter was warm, like a blanket on a cold day, wrapping around you and making you feel safe. It was as if he wasn’t hurt at all, like this was just another one of your usual conversations. "Why would you be sorry? It’s not like this is all your fault."
"But it is," you insisted, your voice cracking as you finally met his eyes. "It feels like it is. I never meant for this to happen, but now… now everything’s so messed up."
"Well it was your fault to be pretty.." He mumbled something under his breath, something you couldn’t quite catch—But then before you could ask what, he spoke up again, louder this time, "Don’t be sorry!"
You were thankful for his words, but the anxiety gnawing at you only grew worse. What if Seungmin was just saying this to comfort you while he was hurting inside? What if he was pretending everything was fine just for your sake?
"Who is it, by the way?" he asked casually, as if he were asking about the answer to a quiz question. His tone was light, but there was a hint of curiosity in his eyes,
"It’s--" your heart starting to race,
"It’s Chan, right?" He slapped the table, a triumphant smile on his face as if he’d just solved a puzzle. "I knew it! Ever since we played that game years ago, I had a feeling. You swore you’d never fall for him, and you think I’m a fool to believe that?"
You blinked at him, startled. "How… how did you--"
Seungmin grinned, leaning back in his chair with an air of confidence. "Come on, it’s not that hard to figure out. You’re not as good at hiding your feelings as you think." He paused, his smile softening. "And honestly? I’m glad it’s Chan. He’s a good guy. Just… I didn’t expect it to happen so soon."
Seungmin’s laughter was infectious, and despite the situation, you found yourself smiling. "I mean… I didn’t want this to happen, but--"
"But you—"
"Wait, let me finish talking," you interrupted 'cause he was always cutting you off, laughing at his eagerness Seungmin joined in, the tension between you easing with every shared laugh.
As you continued to talk, the comfort and ease you always felt with Seungmin returned. He had a way of making everything feel right, even when it wasn’t.
"What I want to say is… go for it! Go get that Chan!" He grinned, his eyes sparkling with mischief. "But if he ever hurts you, I swear to God, he won’t be able to walk again."
You laughed at Seungmin’s playful threat, feeling a warmth in your chest that only a friend like him could bring. In the end, you sent him a grateful smile, and Seungmin returned it, understanding exactly what you meant without needing to say it out loud.
You hesitated for a moment before knocking on Chan's studio door. The silence that followed felt like an eternity. You knocked again, the sound echoing in the quiet hallway. Still, there was no response. With a deep breath, you knocked a third time, your heart pounding in your chest.
"Chan, are you mad at me? Please… let's talk." Your voice wavered as you spoke to the door in front of you, desperation seeping into your words.
But there was still no answer. The lump in your throat grew as you fought back the tears that threatened to spill over. Just as you were about to give up, a voice behind you made you freeze.
"Why are you here?" Chan's voice was laced with surprise, as if he couldn’t believe you were standing there. He must have come back from somewhere, holding a cup of coffee in his hand. "I mean… I’m glad you’re here!" He quickly added, realizing how he might have sounded. "I’m sorry, I just went to get some coffee. Come on, let’s go inside."
You blinked away the tears that had gathered in your eyes and followed him as he unlocked the door and pushed it open for you. The familiar warmth of his studio washed over you as you stepped inside, the soft hum of equipment and the faint scent of coffee mingling in the air.
You took a seat in the extra chair beside his workstation, and Chan set his coffee down on the table. "Wait here for a second," he said, heading toward the small kitchenette. "I’ll get another cup so we can share this."
You nodded silently, watching him as he moved around. When he returned, he poured more than half of his coffee into your cup, leaving himself with only a small portion.
"Here," he said, handing the cup to you before sitting down beside you. "How are you?" he asked, his eyes searching your face for any sign of how you were really feeling.
You tried to maintain eye contact, but the weight of everything that had happened over the past week made it impossible. You looked down, your hands trembling slightly as you held the cup. "I’m… fine," you mumbled, knowing full well that Chan could see through the lie.
He didn’t push you, though. He knew you well enough to understand that you weren’t ready to talk about what was really going on. "I really wanted to come to your apartment," Chan said softly, his voice filled with concern. "But then I realized you might need some time alone."
His understanding, much like Seungmin’s, was both comforting and heartbreaking. You appreciated how well he knew you, but it also made you feel even guiltier for pulling away from him.
Chan hesitated for a moment before speaking again. "Uhm, since you’re here… Can you listen to the song I’m working on?" His voice was tentative, almost as if he was afraid you’d say no.
A small smile tugged at your lips, and you nodded. "Yes, I’d love to."
Chan’s face lit up at your response, and he quickly grabbed a pair of headphones. Even though you were perfectly capable of putting them on yourself, he carefully placed them over your ears, making sure they were adjusted just right. His touch was gentle, almost reverent, and it made your heart ache in ways you couldn’t describe.
He pressed play, and the music flowed into your ears. The first few notes were soft, an acoustic intro that was both unexpected and captivating. Then the piano joined in, followed by the steady beat of drums. It was unlike anything you had heard from Chan before—new, refreshing, and undeniably beautiful.
"Are you the one singing?" you asked, your voice full of awe as the song continued to play.
"Yeah," Chan replied, his voice barely audible over the music. He smiled at your reaction, a mix of pride and nervousness in his eyes.
You focused on the lyrics, trying to piece together the story they told. The words were tender, vulnerable, and they struck a chord deep within you. As the song came to an end, you slowly removed the headphones, letting the silence settle around you.
"What’s the title?" you asked, as you always did after listening to one of Chan’s songs.
Chan chuckled, shaking his head. "I’ll tell you later," he said with a playful grin.
"It was amazing, Chan," you said sincerely, your voice thick with emotion. You could tell he felt the depth of your words, his smile softening into something more genuine.
For a moment, you simply looked at him, taking in every detail of his expression. The way his eyes crinkled at the corners when he smiled, the warmth in his gaze, the slight flush on his cheeks—it all made your heart race. Before you knew what you were doing, you leaned in, closing the distance between you, and kissed him.
Chan froze for a split second, caught off guard, but then he responded, his lips moving against yours in a way that felt both hesitant and eager. The taste of coffee lingered between you, warm and comforting, but it was the intensity of the emotions that overwhelmed you. Your tears, which you had been holding back for so long, finally spilled over.
You realized what the lyrics were really about. They were about you. Every word, every note—he had written them for you.
I swear I would never fall in love with you that was what I always told myself too, but every time I saw you, I couldn’t help but fall harder
Swear that you will like me too, just like how I liked you. I hoped you know it… Please swear again
and that was the title.
---
an: help
#stray kids#stray kids fanfic#stray kids x reader#bang chan x reader#bang chan#bang chan x you#bang chan x y/n#bang chan x female reader#stray kids chan smut#bang chan smut#bang chan fluff#christopher bang#bang chan x oc#chan x reader
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🎨𝙎𝙏𝙊𝙋 𝙃𝙄𝙏𝙏𝙄𝙉𝙂 𝙊𝙉 𝙈𝙔 𝙈𝙊𝙈-🎨
Fyodor x reader
Hard crack and fluff
DESC: Dazai had always hoped his mother would find someone again after his father left her when he was young. However he was not all to pleased to find out she found a FUCKING TERRORIST
WARNINGS: Mentions of terrorism. Everybody begrudgingly tolerates each other as opposed to outright killing each other. Probably ooc Fyodor. Suggestive but it's played for laughs. Kinda spoiler for Fyodors ability if you squint.
Dazai never knew his father. And he never wanted to. He had walked out on his mother when he was less than a year old. And yet his mother did it all for him. She tried her best to help him in any way she could despite her struggles and lack of child support. So as Dazai got older he had hoped his mother would find someone worth her time. A guy that treated her well and made sure she was well taken care of. This is not what he meant by that.
[NAME] stood there happily. Elated to finally introduce the two. Dazai had to fight back the urge to gag, scream, and strike the rat all at once. His eye slightly twitching. Fyodor. His mom was dating a fucking terrorist and she hadnt the smallest clue. His sweet, loving, passionate mother. This was ridiculous. His mother was young, she had him in her late teens so she was in her mid to late thirties, early forties. DAZAI HAD NO FUCKING CLUE HOW OLD THIS RAT BITCH WAS. I mean really- for all he knew he predated the fuckinf dinosaurs. He could've had a drinking contest with Christopher godamn Columbus and he would be none the wiser.
Fyodor- wasnt taking this all too well either. I mean, really - how the hell was this your son!? When Fyodor first met you, he saw you as yet another good person who had to live in a world of tainted ability users. However, he began to see you more frequently. Whether that be by coincidence or subconsciously going to places he had seen you before, he didn't know. But it all led in him, eventually asking you out. Fyodor never considered himself a romantic. He had plans - big ones! He couldn't risk distracting himself. But it was something about the way you spoke, your gentle demeanor and sweet mannerisms. How your coat was slightly stained with bright paint. So, of course, he wasn't risking losing you. When you stated dating, you had laid out immediately that if your son didn't like him, it couldn't happen. You valued his opinion over all else. And Fyodor admired it. You were a loving mother. But if he knew your son was the living embodiment of the "'hang' in there!" cat posters, he would have hired an assasin to take him out. (Not that it would've worked anyway. Dazai never seems to stay dead.)
So now here they both sat, at a cute brunch spot eating together. Anytime you looked their way, their smiles would be back. But the moment you left for the bathroom, they both began openly debating.
"Stop fucking my Mom." Dazai grit his teeth, his fork slightly scratching against his face. Fyodor rolled his eyes, "we haven't performed coitus as of yet you imbecile." He scoffed. Dazai visibly recoiled, relieved and yet disgusted. "Who the hell calls it that?" He gagged. "I would rather adress it as such than with vulgar language-" Fyodor argued. "Oh my god. You sound like a fucking Victorian man. What do the sight of her ankles get your rocks hard my guy?" Dazai groaned. "If you keep this up I will make love with her to spite you." Fyodor glared. Dazai paused. Turning to him in disbelief.
"You wouldnt-
"Watch me, cretin."
@HONORIOTSUSUKI
#》 honori writes ◇#x reader#x reader fluff#fanfic#fluff#crack#crack fic#im so tired help me#Dazai#Osamu Dazai#Fyodor#fyodor dostoevsky#BSD#bungo stray dogs#Fyodor x reader#Fyodor BSD#bungo stray dogs fanfic#Dazai x reader#bsd x reader#crack fluff
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• — wednesday — •
GET INTO IT: I’m not really sure what is this but I saw this jungkook again and so this came out lmao. (jungkook is kind of an asshoolee here tho..)
PAIRING: jungkook x reader
WORD COUNT: 1.2k
THIS IS A: drabble.
“it’s not fair! babe. let me make it up to you, hm?”
“let me go.”
“please, please, please listen to me.. babe, please.”
jungkook doesn’t seem to understand that what you feel is beyond upsetting.
how many times is he going to promise something he can’t even achieve?
“it was so simple. so, so simple jungkook.” you’re clearly upset.
“I know but—“
his arms are no longer around your body.
“that’s your excuse. ‘I know but’. everytime you say that, I know there’s some bullshit coming.” you pause. “just how many times you’ll keep this game coming up? am I some sort of game?”
“no! never!”
“so why you keep failing me like this? don’t say you’ll meet me in some place and not go. it’s your 5th time doing this shit and to be honest I even gave you too many opportunities to bounce back but you never do. only doing worst by each time. it’s embarrassing! I can’t even make plans even if it’s short with my boyfriend ‘cause he doesn’t wanna show up? embarrassing!”
“I do want to show up!”
“then why the fuck do you fail me each time?” your pierced gaze showing nothing more but annoyance with a bunch of mixed feelings. anger, sadness, disappointment, embarrassment, you name it. it couldn’t get any worst. “oh, are you gonna say ‘it’s for work’ each time I say why do you keep meeting this new girl? you think I don’t know?”
“baby I will never cheat on you if that’s what you’re implying.” tone so serious. jungkook really doesn’t want to mess things up. more so.
“fucking explain.” as sharp as you say it, you just want to know the truth.
“I.. um. agh! I don’t even know why I’m nervous, I ain’t doing dumb shit so why—“ mumbling more to himself, he clears his throat. “anyways.” careful of touching your hands in case you slap them away, he approaches you very slowly. surprisingly, you let him.
“you know how badly I want to say you’re the only girl in my eyes and that I could never love or devote to anyone the way I do with you. believe me when I say you’re the only woman in this whole world who has seen me like this and whom I treat like this.” eyes so clear, you could say he really meant this but still, you couldn’t just give in like this so you just let him speak only looking at him with the same pierced eyes. “but I hate cliche things and I know you already know all of this even if you’re mad at me so I’m just gonna say that the reason why I have been meeting this new girl is because of my manager.” he desperately pauses. “he does know I’m taken and baby,” he gently squeezes your hands onto his. “believe me when I say I make it fucking clear that I am dating YOU. like there’s no one there that doesn’t know I’m dating YOU.” he pauses. eyes glistening pleading for forgiveness while he continues to speak. “but somehow my boss wants me to get closer to her. I wasn’t even gonna speak, even look at her but he wants me and her to get close.”
“of all people?” you take his hands off of yours but he takes them back.
“I think he wants to fuck her if I’m being honest.” it’s his response.
“and that has something to do with you because…?” you still can’t believe he’s saying this shit.
“by his own words, he knows I’m the best at persuasion with people. he wants her to work with him in this big upcoming project we have and the best way to get her close is.. by talking to me.”
you’re silent. no words coming out of your mouth and that gets jungkook to plead even more.
“I swear to god say something.” anxiously biting his lips he gets closer to you but you just keep on staring at him without a word. “..babe.”
“how does that explains you dipping each we have plans?” he’s silent. “am I not your first priority? like I thought so! as YOU claim.” sarcasm wasnt out of this house.. was it?
he sighs. “you are.”
“then?”
his eyes.. they start scanning your entire body. up and down as you want to know what’s going on inside of his head.
“wanna fuck you right now.”
“what?” you just made the most disgusting face that could ever be created. “the fuck are you saying right now?! I can’t with you. i’m fucking done.” getting away from him, you head towards your room until..
he stops you by holding one side of your wrist. “no! babe- wait! l-let me just—let me show you okay? just—“ at this point he thinks he’s the most stupid man on earth. “let me show you why you’re always gonna be my first priority.”
“by fucking me?” you did a quick pause. “that’s not how you’re gonna show it! are you playing dumb? you literally can demonstrate that by fucking showing up to our supposed dates!” eyes becoming watery with anger. “if you wanted to fuck me so bad, then you’ll fucking be good to me and actually listen to me! — I won’t be giving any fucking sex right now or ever! I’m done.”
..and those were your last worst before slapping his hands away from him and smashing the door in front of his face.
jungkook knows he fucked up, he also recognized after thinking for a long time that he needed to grow up. also, that not all problems can be fixed with sex! just.. who the hell he has become to? to leave his girlfriend hanging there, paying less attention to her when he thought the relationship was so fine.. his wrong doing here apart from the many failed dates and promises, was… believing that she could forgive him anytime.
they weren’t kids anymore, they’re literal adults with responsibilities and as much as he was busy, she also is. the difference being, that she could make time for him while he focused way too much into getting his boss to hook up with this new girl.. he thought about how fucked up it was, but even when he didn’t agree with it at all, he still continued to help..
why?
jungkook himself didn’t even know the answer to it only that he just continued to act on literal command..
was this also too much for him? many things needed to get fixed.. but still, he hoped that his pretty, number one girl could ever come again and forgive him.. give him another chance.
#jungkook#jungkook x reader#jungkook fanfics#jungkook fics#jeon jungkook#jeongguk#jungkook fanfic#bts#bangtan#bts jungkook#bts smut#jungkook smut#jungkook scenarios#jungkook drabbles#jungkook drabble#jungkook scenario#bts drabbles#bts scenario#bts angst#wednesday jungkook#jungkook seven#jeoncopi#jungkook imagines#jungkook fluff#jungkook one shot#bts imagine
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cerebral
matt sturniolo x fem reader
this isn’t proof read 😛😛
suggestive ???
i knew this would happen. it happened with the last guy i went on a date with, and the guy before that. they just werent him. it was such a horrible feeling to sit across from someone in a restaurant searching their face for a more familiar one, one that had memories etched into his smile lines, one that had a piece of you with him. but the feeling of having him, but not being abel to have him, wasnt much better.
it was hard, finding the middle ground between my ex and my best friend. we both promised that if we ever broke up nothing would change between us. but it did. i was more cautious of him. i picked my words carefully when they left my mouth. i studied his body language whenever i was close to him. he was like a ticking time bomb. he could be set off at any minute.
lazy footsteps could be heard before i saw matt pad his way into my living room before he plopped himself down next to me. he let himself in. of course he did. he leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees before turning to look at me with a sad smile on his face.
"you okay?" his voice was hushed. like if he spoke too loud i might shatter. i just nodded with a gloomy smile on my face.
"so why do you look so sad y/n?" he knew me so well and i hated it. i couldnt differentiate wether he knew me so well because he was my bestfriend for so long, or if because he was the love of my life at one point.
"just the date. i dont think you wanna hear about it" i let out a sad laugh as i spoke. his eyebrows furrowed for a second before he replied.
"youre still my bestfriend y/n. just because youre my ex too doesn’t mean you cant tell me about the new guys" he sounded genuine. like he didnt care about the new guys. like he wasnt mad about them. but he should be. i wish he was. i wish he was repulsed at the thought of me ever being able to move on from him. but he wasnt. i kept my eyes trained to the ground. there was a heavy silence as he searched my face. i could feel his wandering eyes burning holes into me. like he could see straight into my brain.
"he called me cerebral matt" i paused, eyes still boring holes into the carpet beneath me. "i didnt even know what it meant" i raised my eyebrows and let out a huff of air through my nose. "would it have killed him to call me pretty instead?" i finally looked up at matt to see his eyes still on me. a look on his face that i couldnt decipher. i hated that he could see my walls crumbling.
"you are pretty y/n" he cooed, his voice so sickly sweet. matts hand moved onto my leg. rubbing slow circles with his thumb. i hated this. i hated that he could sit there and tell me this and not be mine. how could he promise to soften every edge and hold the world to its best when he was killing me.
"you cant say thing like this matt" i pushed his hand off my leg and just like that the walls were built back up again. his eyes dropped to his hand that was now slumped onto the sofa then back up to my face. he knew this was coming.
"why not?" he knew why. he just wanted to hear me say it. i paused momentarily. weighing up my options. deciding wether to say the real reason or to just leave it hanging in the air and say something that we both know is a lie. i didnt know where i stood with matt. he would treat me like in still his girlfriend in some ways, caring for me, being a shoulder for me to cry on and always being there to hold my hand when i needed him to, but he would drop it after a few seconds, leaving cold, heart shaped scars in his wake.
"because im still in love with you" tears were threatening to spill as i spoke. his face didnt move a fraction. he didnt even blink, just staring at me like he was deep in thought. this was old news for him and he probably could have beat me to it but atleast he was kind enough to let me say it. matt didnt even speak. he just kept staring at me as he brought a gantle hand up to the side of my face.
before i could even pull his hand off my face his lips were on mine. i didnt have the type of self control to pull away. i leaned into him, craving the closeness, luckily he got the hint and pulled me into his lap so i was straddling him and the kiss grew heavy, his tongue forcing its way into my mouth, his wandering hands grabbing and groping whatever skin he could. he moved his mouth off mine and began trailing wet kisses down my neck and jawline making my breath hitch and my eyes close.
he began sucking and biting the skin on the side of my neck making me while. my hands found home in his hair, tugging softly, earning a satisfied hum from matt before he spoke against me.
"lets just get back together mh?" i was so lost in the way his lips felt on my skin i didnt even register what he had said until a few seconds later. i immediately pulled his head away from me and stared at him with wide eyes.
"what?" surprise evident in the sound of my voice.
"i dont see what the problem is, we both still love each other and i hate seeing you go on dates with shitty guys so why not?" i couldnt even reply to him. i just stared at him with my wouth hung open. what the fuck.
"if you dont want to, ill stop, but if you do, just say the words and ill give you whatever you want." he sounded so sure.
"yes" that was all he needed before he smirked and brought his lips to mine again, kissing me, hot and heavy.
the kiss was sloppy and desperate, both of us urgent for a touch we craved so badly. he ground his hips up, pressing his hard on into my heat making me whine into his mouth. i felt him smile against my lips before he kissed down my chin and throat before licking a stripe up it, pulling a moan from me, causing my hips to stutter against his involuntarily.
make up sex is good for the soul.
pt 2 coming soon an it’s spicy 🤓
taglist: @christinarowie332 @biimpanicking @soursturniolo @freshlovehacker @urmyslxt @kitaysworld @kvtie444 @chrisenthusiast @flowerxbunnie @mattsd0ll @itsjennarose @hearttshapedkisses @lovingsturniolo
#mango talks#nick sturniolo#chris sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#christopher sturniolo#chris sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo x you#matt sturniolo imagine#matt sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo x you#matt sturniolo smut#matthew sturniolo#matt sturniolo#chris sturniolo smut#smut#sturniolo#sturniolo fanfic#nicolas sturniolo#sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo blurb#chris sturniolo imagine#chris sturniolo oneshot#christopher owen sturniolo#sturniolo edit#my stuff#boyfriend texts#s#Spotify
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